WIFE // MOTHER // TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED SMALL BUSINESS OWNER // HOMESCHOOL TEACHER //
QUARANTINE DAY 47
09.05.20
Surviving Lockdown
Like most of us, I have experienced a profound change in my day to day life since Covid-19 made its unwelcome arrival.
Having recovered from an operation, I was just starting back to work when the lockdown began. Being a self-employed photographer, cancelling and postponing my client’s weddings, portrait sessions and corporate shoots was quite an upsetting process after being out of action for 6 weeks already.
I decided early on to try and avoid tabloid headlines. Knowing how I respond to constant doom and gloom news articles, I felt it best to avoid reading or watching the news. Lena, our 11-year-old is susceptible to the sensationalist messages the reporters are keen on and she was already filled with scary ideas about Coronavirus from the kids at school.
I noticed early on that although the Coronavirus situation was a worrying one, I felt oddly calm about it. I felt many people were over reacting to the situation and I couldn’t help feel I was under reacting. After a few days I realised, having had cancer twice, the threat to health/life is something I have been coping with for many years and this global pandemic was quite a similar environment.
Still, like many people, I experienced nightmares for the first and second week. According to psychotherapists this is due to the amount of new information that needs to be processed around feelings and experiences. So just know, this is completely normal.
Despite not being too over reactive, this lockdown has been quite an unsettling time for me. Being unable to go out and meet up with my friends has been difficult. I’ve missed taking Ethan to his regular play dates with his buddies too.
I occasionally feel close to tears or tearful over silly things. The other day, I heard Captain Tom singing his number one song, “you’ll never walk alone” and I welled up listening to this lovely man, thinking about his amazing effort to raise money for the NHS. What a guy! (Also how cool to reach 100 years old!)
I also received a letter from the Government telling me I was higher at risk of complications if I were to get Coronavirus. This shook me a little, as despite a replaced ear drum, a spinal fusion and two lots of cancer, I like to think I am indestructible and this was yet another unwelcome sign that I am not. I contacted my team at the Royal Marsden anyway and they believe I’m on the ‘recently had cancer list’ and the GP’s don’t delve any further to see if I am having chemotherapy. On their advice I have carried on as normal.
Here are a few things I have learned throughout the last 5 weeks of lockdown with my family.
Being constantly with your spouse.
Andy and I are quite used to working from home together and thankfully have ironed out the majority of the marital kinks that come with being together for a protracted period of time.
Over the years I have found that if something is bothering one of us, it’s best to speak up.
A simple “Would you mind…?” statement is all that’s needed. For instance,
“Would you mind wiping down the surfaces after using the kitchen” – Andy
“Would you mind stirring the tea after sweetening it?” – Laura
Speak up, don’t let it fester, you will just feel resentful and stressed otherwise.
Another potential and fun solution is to blame the imaginary house guest, Debbie. Debbie keeps leaving cups and wrappers everywhere. Debbie needs to get her shit together, pronto.
Failing that, the patio might have to be a little disturbed…
Start a decorating project.
I am sure as a family we have been sub consciously planning for lockdown life for quite a few years. Thankfully, we extended our property a few years ago and the majority of the decorating work has been completed. Though Lena’s bedroom walls still needed painting, which has been a lovely project to work on together. I say lovely, but trying to cover fluorescent green paint with white paint has taken approx. 242 coats of paint. But that said, its finished now and looks lovely. I am pleased I managed to hold on to my sanity decorating with an enthusiastic and impatient 11 year old. Especially as she wanted to time lapse record everything for her YouTube channel. “But we can’t start now my phone battery is dead!” Arrrrrggggghhhhhh!
Activity
Taking time to get your body moving is especially important for your mental wellbeing. When we moved into our home nearly 6 years ago, we realised we weren’t going to use the garage to house one of our cars, so decided to convert it into a home gym.
We have a power cage, a squat rack, a bench and a range of dumbbells and an alarming variety of spiders.
Lena joins us in the gym some days, she has a punch bag which, comes in quite handy when you need to vent some frustration.
We have yoga mats too and plan to do some yoga in the garden on warmer days.
Whatever you’re into, remember motion is lotion. So, get moving and boost that serotonin!
Daily Walks
We are lucky enough to have a park opposite our road and have been going out late afternoon to give Ethan time to run around. He recognises his reins now and willingly puts them on knowing he’s going for “walkies!” But seriously, he just runs! FAST!
Sync diaries to get stuff done
We have always shared our diaries so we can see when the other is working and who is responsible for the kiddos. Though, last year, Andy defected to the dark side. That’s right, he bought an android phone! Obviously as an iPhone user I was horrified and considered divorce, especially as I lost the ability to add things to his diary and he can’t even see what’s in mine. Sob.
However, we have a work around that has been even more important since the start of the lockdown. We review our diaries daily. We check what we have planned for the next day and we make sure we both have time to work on our businesses (whilst the other one watches our toddler), plan our workouts in the home gym, go for a walk and get any home project sorted.
Give each other space
Suddenly being forced together can be tough to handle, no wonder people fight more on family holidays, we’re not used to spending so much time together.
Having time away from the family unit is necessary for our wellbeing. And for the record – having children banging on the door whilst you’re trying to take a bathroom break does not count!
We let Lena play in her room providing screen time is kept to a minimum, but as an avid YouTuber, she is typically quite active at creating content for her channel – Lena Does Stuff or playing with Ethan, so far hasn’t been too much of an issue.
I quite enjoy popping out for the essentials by myself which, affords me time alone and loud singing in my car.
I have big plans to start meditating every morning. I’ve said this every morning. I need to put this in my diary.
Sanity
Remember that tweenage girls will NEVER run out of something to talk about. No matter how many days you have spent together. The talking never ENDS!
A personal project
I saw that other photographers were doing doorstep photos of their local community and decided to give it a go. Our local Facebook group for Maidenbower has been full of support and good deeds since lockdown started and I felt inspired to do something for my neighbours. So far I have photographed 45 families and there are still more booked! Future blog post on this coming soon.
Thanks for reading!
Laura
xxs