How to celebrate mixed culture weddings.
Brides Magazine had some amazing suggestions…
1. Educate each family.
To ensure they understand all the customs and expectations, make sure to sit down with each family. Get on the same page, whether it’s how much you want to spend or who is comfortable (or not) wearing cultural garb. Without similar expectations, couples set themselves up for disappointment throughout the planning process. For your guests, add an area on your website or wedding program with details on ceremony etiquette.
2. Check with religious institutions.
Before setting any dates or placing deposits at venues, check with your religious institutions first. While most religious officiants are open to interfaith unions, some stodgier officiants are not. In some cases, such as Jewish and Christian, the rabbi and the priest will perform the ceremony together. In others, such as Catholic and Hindu, that’s not an option—it has to be two separate ceremonies.
Also check for respective holy days, as most religions have devotional seasons when weddings cannot be held.
3. Pick a venue and vendors that will accommodate you.
Many venues have standard wedding packages and introducing new ideas can be problematic logistically. For example, many ballrooms won’t allow the open flame needed for an Indian wedding due to fire code, and full ceremonies for some religions take longer than the typical 30-minute window.
4. Personalize the ceremony and highlight cultural traditions.
Determine what traditions are important to you and your fiancé. When merging styles, not every tradition will be feasible logistically, no matter what parents say. Personalize the ceremony and reception by picking what matters to you, such as a Filipino money dance or Chinese tea ceremony. Not into the bouquet and garter toss? Skip it.
5. Get inventive with the food and drinks.
To incorporate specific ingredients or family dishes, utilize your menu. Replace the traditional surf and turf with items like or enchiladas with mole and play with specialty cocktails using native ingredients. Amy Shey Jacobs of Chandelier Events recommends looking for restaurants and caterers that embrace fusion ideas from the start and have fun brainstorming.
6. Be daring with your fashion.
Look for modern interpretations of traditional outfits by progressive designers and find ways to blend cultures, such as wearing a red ballgown for a Chinese wedding. Jacobs recommends convertible dresses to brides who need covered shoulders for religious ceremonies but want strapless dresses for the reception.
7. Use music and décor.
Add decorative elements that evoke the feel of the wedding, like art, sculptures, and furniture, or choose a venue with decorative elements that fit your culture. Talk to your DJ or band about incorporating traditional music throughout the night and get your guests to the dance floor.
8. Consider hiring a planner.
Not only for unique ideas but also as a confidant. Sonal J. Shah, who specializes in Indian weddings, has organized more than 650 weddings with her event company, says half the weddings she does each year combine different religions or cultures, and she often finds herself as an intermediary between families. She explained that many times parents do not fully understand the wedding customs. “As a bride, it’s nice to have an ally on your side, a credible source,” Shah says. “I back up your ideas and help families understand why they work.”
Amy & Jesper’s Swedish/Indian wedding.
Amy and Jesper were married at the Mansion Leatherhead Registry Office and held a marque reception in their home garden afterwards. I could tell Amy and Jesper were very close with their families, and it was very important for them to bring their family culture to their wedding day. Amy and Jesper discovered both their parents had the same wedding anniversary and decided to join their parents and celebrated their wedding on 21st July. I absolutely love this, its almost like they were destined for each other.
Jesper’s family come from Sweden where there are many wedding traditions, here are a few I liked!
- At the start of the ceremony there is no tradition for the father of the bride to give his daughter away. Instead, the bride and groom tend to walk down the aisle together.
- Swedish weddings have a kissing tradition. This is where if the groom leaves the room for any reason, the other men are allowed to kiss the bride and vice versa. A unique Swedish tradition without a doubt!
- After dinner, ‘snapsvisor’, which is a traditional Swedish drinking song is sung by the guests, accompanied by drinking snaps, which is usually a small shot of Scandinavian vodka.
- Usually, at a Swedish wedding there are often 8-12 speeches! Any guest attending the wedding can give a speech at any time (although this is often planned). Swedish weddings can last a very long time!
Amy’s family comes from India and in Indian weddings, they take ‘tying of the knot’ very literally.
- The grooms ties a ‘holy thread’ around his brides neck. Known as a mangalsutra, it is made with black, red, and white beads and strung through a black or yellow string. This is to distinguish her as a married woman. The bride will continue to wear this, even after her wedding day, to represent her marital status.
- With both artistic and medicinal uses, henna (also called mehndi) has beautified brides for over 5,000 years. It is typically applied to the brides hands and feet in lines to create floral patterns. A mehndi party will be arranged days before the wedding for female attendants to come to. It is said that the darker the brides henna looks, the stronger her marriage will be. Henna is temporary, lasting 3 – 7 days.
- Dandiya Raas is a folk dance originating from India. It uses bamboo sticks painted in bright colours, where the dancers strike the wooden sticks in rhythmic beats. Generally two lines are formed, with people in pairs facing each other.
