Surviving Lockdown

Like most of us, I have experienced a profound change in my day to day life since Covid-19 made its unwelcome arrival.

Having recovered from an operation, I was just starting back to work when the lockdown began. Being a self-employed photographer, cancelling and postponing my client’s weddings, portrait sessions and corporate shoots was quite an upsetting process after being out of action for 6 weeks already.

I decided early on to try and avoid tabloid headlines. Knowing how I respond to constant doom and gloom news articles, I felt it best to avoid reading or watching the news. Lena, our 11-year-old is susceptible to the sensationalist messages the reporters are keen on and she was already filled with scary ideas about Coronavirus from the kids at school.

I noticed early on that although the Coronavirus situation was a worrying one, I felt oddly calm about it. I felt many people were over reacting to the situation and I couldn’t help feel I was under reacting. After a few days I realised, having had cancer twice, the threat to health/life is something I have been coping with for many years and this global pandemic was quite a similar environment.

Still, like many people, I experienced nightmares for the first and second week. According to psychotherapists this is due to the amount of new information that needs to be processed around feelings and experiences.  So just know, this is completely normal.

Despite not being too over reactive, this lockdown has been quite an unsettling time for me. Being unable to go out and meet up with my friends has been difficult. I’ve missed taking Ethan to his regular play dates with his buddies too.

I occasionally feel close to tears or tearful over silly things. The other day, I heard Captain Tom singing his number one song, “you’ll never walk alone” and I welled up listening to this lovely man, thinking about his amazing effort to raise money for the NHS. What a guy! (Also how cool to reach 100 years old!)

I also received a letter from the Government telling me I was higher at risk of complications if I were to get Coronavirus. This shook me a little, as despite a replaced ear drum, a spinal fusion and two lots of cancer, I like to think I am indestructible and this was yet another unwelcome sign that I am not. I contacted my team at the Royal Marsden anyway and they believe I’m on the ‘recently had cancer list’ and the GP’s don’t delve any further to see if I am having chemotherapy. On their advice I have carried on as normal.

Here are a few things I have learned throughout the last 5 weeks of lockdown with my family.